Catholic psychologist offers advice for families amid political divisions

Ahead of the Nov. 3 midterms, a Catholic clinical psychologist is encouraging families to navigate political differences through prayer and respectful dialogue.

Michelle Connor Harris, executive director of St. Raphael Counseling, outlined suggestions in a Denver Catholic column for political conversations with relatives, encouraging families to discuss their differences while respecting each other.

“Politics is very personal, and people can become emotionally attached to their party, candidate or political beliefs,” Harris wrote. “When that happens, it can be difficult to listen openly when those beliefs are challenged. It takes effort to resist allowing our emotions to rule our political discussions.”

Harris said those conversations should also reflect Christian values.

“God gave each of us freedom, and he desires that we use that freedom to choose what is good, true and beautiful,” Harris wrote. “Respecting the freedom of others does not mean believing every choice is equally good or true, nor does understanding another person require us to abandon our own convictions.”

Harris described a conversation with her 23-year-old son, whose political views she said often differ from her own. Rather than offer her own arguments, she asked him to explain his position.

“And then I listened. He talked about the larger issues of tax reform, serving constituents and addressing people’s needs. I didn’t try to instruct. I didn’t make any points of my own. I just followed up with clarifying questions,” she wrote.

Harris said the exchange helped her better appreciate her son’s concern for others. She encouraged readers to make a similar effort with their own families during the election season, noting that it would take “an act of the will and sacrifice on our parts.”

Harris encouraged readers to give relatives room to explain their views by asking questions without judgment or sarcasm, rather than trying to persuade them.

“Questions like ‘Why do you think that’s the best solution to the given problem?’ and ‘How would that change things if that program were implemented?’ help us understand details rather than give opinions,” she wrote.

She also advised acknowledging another person’s reasoning without immediately arguing against it.

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Harris also emphasized prayer, recommending the Prayer of St. Francis, which begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.”

Harris emphasized that political differences do not diminish a person’s dignity.

She wrote, “We can disagree, sometimes profoundly, while still giving our family, friends, neighbors and strangers from across the aisle the respect they deserve as fellow human beings created and loved by God.”