Nyles Pinckney, a former defensive tackle at Clemson University, was still in college when his girlfriend became pregnant. Years after they both experienced the pain of an abortion, he now works to help men find healing after similar experiences..
Pinckney and his girlfriend weren’t considering an abortion until they were told that if she took a pill, all she would experience at the end of the unexpected pregnancy was a little bleeding, Pregnancy Help News reported.
They decided to have the chemical abortion. After one of Pinckney’s football games, his girlfriend was bleeding and cramping so badly that he carried her to the car. While his friends complimented him for his strength, only he knew what she was suffering.
“They, of course, didn’t know the full context as to what’s going on,” Pinckney said. “And while they’re saying what a great boyfriend I am and so strong, I’m feeling so much less than that because I’m feeling that I’m the reason she feels like that.”
A week later, Pinkney’s girlfriend texted him a photo while he was out of town for a game.
“The week before it was a blood clot, this time it was the embryo,” he said.
They never again discussed the abortion, and a year later, they broke up.
“We never had the conversation about our abortion experience,” Pinckney said. “She may have had some regret and anger. And it may not have been at me, or it may have been at me, but we never talked about our experience to where we could sift through that. We may have wanted to say something to each other, but we didn’t know how to say it or even what to say.”
About six years later, Pinkney started working as the men’s healing coordinator for Support After Abortion, a national nonprofit that helps both men and women heal after abortion.
“Nationally, one in five men will be impacted by abortion by age 45,” Pinckney said. “And in our research, 71 percent of men have seen changes in themselves. I’m a part of that 71 percent. Only 18 percent know where to go to for help.”
He said he meets men with compassion, and every person’s story is different.
“Some may have more grief. Some may have more anger. Some may not know what they’re dealing with,” Pinkney added.
Support After Abortion has a national hotline (833-403-4325) and online resources for people seeking help. It also connects people with both secular and faith-based resources.
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