“They’re so much smarter than I am.”
“They all look so prepared… I’m the only one freaking out.”
“I’m not good enough.”
Sound familiar? You look around in a meeting, at a conference, in class, or even in church, and get the distinct sense you don’t belong. Somehow you’ve wandered into a space you weren’t made for. It feels as though everyone is looking at you, that you are the odd one out — the beggar at the feast.
This emotion is commonly called imposter syndrome, which the dictionary defines as: “a psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one's abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one's ongoing success.”
It’s easy to identify the emotion — but how do we solve it? Can we talk ourselves out of imposter syndrome? Are we doomed to feel like intruders in our own workplaces, schools, and places of worship? Must we fake it forever?
Identify the problem
The first step to resolving any emotion is to name it. Ask yourself: “Am I experiencing imposter syndrome? I feel like I don’t belong — why is that?”
Look for the clues. Is there a physical difference between you and others around you? They may have nicer clothes, be older, or carry themselves differently. We often use these outward signs to make snap judgments about others, automatically comparing ourselves.
Or maybe you know the qualifications of those around you. For example, everyone in this room went to an Ivy League school except me, or everyone in this meeting makes more money than I do. Identifying what bothers you is key to moving forward.
Once you’ve examined your situation and identified what makes you feel inferior, ask: Does this match the definition of imposter syndrome? If yes — read on.
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Reframe the situation
The next step is stepping back. You need a bigger-picture view. Seek the truth in the mess of emotions you identified earlier. You feel like an intruder — but what’s really going on?
Everyone has different strategies for reframing. Some people journal, writing down the facts: “I was accepted to this graduate program.” Then, write down the insecurity: “Everyone here went to an Ivy League school except me.” Finally, clarify the reality: “I applied, I was accepted, I was invited to this meeting. My feelings don’t change the facts. I have every right to be here.”
Another strategy is seeking counsel from someone you trust. Sometimes we’re too close to see clearly. A friend’s perspective can give you the bird’s-eye view you need.
An intentional interior
So how do you banish imposter syndrome? It comes down to mindset. The ancient Stoics taught that the only thing we control is our own reactions. We can’t change the environment, but we can change how we respond. Two key practices help: rejecting perfectionism and avoiding comparisons.
Being anti-perfectionist doesn’t mean slacking off. It means focusing on growth instead of flawless performance. Don’t let the despair of imperfection stop you from striving to improve. If you feel ignorant in a meeting, see it as a chance to learn. If you feel underdressed at an event, treat it as research for next time. Every weakness can become an opportunity.
The second step is avoiding comparisons. You’ve looked at the facts: You belong where you are. Who cares if others look more put together or make more money? Comparing won’t help you succeed. Focus your energy on excelling where you are. You earned your place. Now focus on learning and doing the task before you.
Fake it?
Sometimes, all this still isn’t enough. Emotions can be stubborn. Even after identifying the problem, reframing, seeking counsel, and focusing on growth, you may still feel like a fraud.
That’s when you can take comfort in knowing you’re not alone. In truth, nobody ever feels completely confident that they’re “doing it right.” Whether it’s your job, your vocation or your faith, most people feel they’re simply doing their best day by day. As a child, you assume adults know what they’re doing. As an adult, you realize that couldn’t be further from the truth.
The advice “fake it till you make it” may sound cliché, but it works. If reframing doesn’t banish imposter syndrome, square your shoulders and act confident anyway. Often, if you do this long enough, you’ll look up one day and realize you’ve stopped feeling like a fraud and started excelling — without ever quite knowing when or how the change happened.