The loss of tweenhood: How to fight the war on your child's innocence

Musical artist Zara Larsson is known for her kitschy, colorful Y2K aesthetic, catering to teen and young adult audiences for nearly 20 years. Multiple videos online show Larsson bringing young fans on stage to dance with her. Sweet, genuine, and great for her tour, right? Nobody seems concerned that her latest album promotes sex, misogyny, and club culture blanketed in an electropop vacation; not really a relatable, let alone appropriate, anthem for 10- to 13-year-olds. 

The loss of tweenhood 

My 10-year-old sister came home one day singing Larsson's “Midnight Sun.” I recognized the tune and asked, “You know that one?” I was grateful that it wasn’t one of the three explicit songs on the album. In return, she taught me the start of the corresponding stage performance dance. 

While Larsson’s comeback may be fun for young adults on a night out, she’s definitely not appropriate for the ears of pre-teens. So why is content like this directed at young girls, and why are they embracing it? What’s the rush to grow up? 

Since Y2K is back, it’s only fitting for a 2000s kid like myself to set the scene. I grew up with Polly Pockets, Webkinz, JustDance battles, and Disney fairies. High School Musical, Princess Protection Program, Cinderella Story starring Hilary Duff, and Princess Mia from The Princess Diaries were the women my generation saw in the media during those pre-teen and early teen years. I’m not promoting Disney; however, these characters dressed mostly modestly and were aspirational. Their personality was based on universal values like respect for others, never shying away from hard work, and overcoming adversity of some kind while being a relatable teen. The storytelling included some sort of lesson like true love conquers all or never give up on your dreams, rather than virtue signaling and pushing a value system or political agenda. 

Who are the young female role models my sister and her friends have? Influencers. The focus is on the material and physical, rather than character and imagination. Instead of buying friendship bracelets or “learn-to-crochet” craft kits, they head to Ulta for skincare and beauty products. The smartphone has absolutely removed the critical emotional bridge between child and emerging young woman that “tweenhood” provides. “Tweenhood” preserved some critical parts of innocence like imagination and purity by giving 11 to 13-year-olds role models that were their age, rather than emulating adult-age influencers. The role-models were the average girl finding her inner princess and pre-teens and young teenagers interacting with one another in their own world. This bubble prevented children from being thrust into the world of adults with themes they aren’t quite ready to fully explore and understand. Children are now developing their conscience, sense of self, and worldview via their phone and of course, their peers, in a highly controlled and curated, often adult-centric, virtual world. 

How to fight the war on your child's innocence

Somewhere along the way, even children picked up on the fact that culture doesn’t value purity and innocence. The reality is that children’s innocence is a treasure, and their purity of heart can lead adults to be more gentle, playful, and kind-hearted. Here are some suggestions to help preserve innocence within your home.

1. Skip the streaming service and return to DVD players with classic, family favorites. Some used bookstores have gently used DVDs for cheap. 
2. Read classic books together. You would be surprised how engaged an 11- or 12-year-old will become in a read-aloud. Classic books can be hard for kids to navigate alone, but read them aloud and they’re hooked. Here are 10 classic (and Zeale-approved) novels that every child should read before they’re 18 for young women and men.
3. Monitoring phone usage by allowing computer, tablet, or phone time only in your presence rather than alone can be a gamechanger. Even when doing their own thing, your physical presence keeps your child accountable for what they watch and you are close by to notice if any content isn’t okay. 
4. Have get-togethers and playdates at your house. Choose activities and excursions that bring out the best in their friends or pique their interests. Encourage wonder and creativity that comes from within the child. 

It’s rough out there. Today’s parents are competing with AI slop and a menagerie of crazy. The biggest temptation is to give up, but the truth is, your kid deserves to be a kid.