Virginia diocese ministries foster faith and belonging for separated and divorced Catholics

Separated and divorced Catholics are finding healing and community through pastoral ministries rooted in affirming Catholic teaching on marriage throughout the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia, according to an Aug. 6 report from the diocese’s Arlington Catholic Herald. 

Among the ministries is Mornings of Mercy, a quarterly retreat held at parishes across the diocese that centers on Mass, Eucharistic adoration, reflection, and fellowship, according to the outlet. 

The retreat also offers practical guidance, including clarification that divorce alone does not bar Catholics from receiving the sacraments.

Father Thomas Ferguson, pastor of Good Shepherd Church in Alexandria and one of the priests who helps lead Mornings of Mercy, explained that distinction.

“If a person is divorced through no fault of their own and is living life as a chaste single person in the Church, there’s no obstacle to receiving Communion,” Father Ferguson said. “When you are divorced and remarried outside of the Church, that is an obstacle to receiving Communion.”

The Arlington Catholic Herald spotlighted that the Catechism of the Catholic Church describes divorce as a “grave offense against the natural law” (CCC 2384), and also acknowledges spouses can be “unjustly abandoned” and an “innocent victim of a divorce.” 

Steven Perchalski discovered Mornings of Mercy several years ago, after suffering a divorce following 19 years of marriage. He had served as a caregiver for his wife for several years as she suffered health issues, and their relationship came under significant strain. As his wife entered a promising path to recovery, Perchalski began returning to the Church after years away, according to the outlet.  

He shared that he had “asked his wife to join him in working to help heal their marriage, but that she was not interested,” the outlet reported. He came across Mornings of Mercy amid the difficulty of the divorce that followed in 2020, finding accompaniment and community at a crucial moment. 

“It was like I found my people,” he said.

That sense of belonging later inspired Perchalski to help establish a parish ministry of his own. Similar groups now serve separated and divorced Catholics at several parishes across the diocese.

Parish ministry leader Denise Kyle described how shared experience shapes that accompaniment.

“We share our experiences to help those suffering through the process,” she said, “talking about the court system, child-rearing, handling lawyers, and renewing our relationship with Christ.”

Ministry leaders said the purpose of the groups is sometimes misunderstood by other Catholics.

“We are not a dating service,” parish ministry leader Linda Borostovik said in the report. “We are not anything other than a place where like-minded Catholics can live out their faith.”

Francisco Solares, another parish ministry leader, said that suffering caused by divorce can become a path toward deeper trust in God and that accompaniment in ministry helps amid the grief

“The strength of God’s love carries us through the pain of the loss,” Solares said. “We do not experience divorce alone.”