The Theology of Style

I didn't grow up with a clear picture of what it meant to be a woman. Raised by my father with two brothers, I had to find pieces of womanhood in the women I worked with, read about, or admired. But slowly, I built a life of intention, crafted with purpose.

As a wife, mother, and business owner, I believe the choices we make, the way we build our homes, the clothes we wear, the meals we prepare, these all shape the lives we lead. It's about creating a space for joy and peace, not by accident, but by design.

We'll explore the stories of people who live life with intention. People who don't wait for life to be perfect, but embrace the beauty and meaning in their everyday choices. Because living a life of faith and beauty isn't something we wait for, it's something we create. And through these stories, we discover new ways to flourish, one intentional step at a time.

Style isn't just about what we wear, it's who we are and how we choose to present ourselves. So today, we're exploring how fashion can help us live with intention and confidence. Look at this. It's so nice. Here's your coffee. Ooh, hot. Thank you. So good to see you. It's been so long. I was so excited when you announced your book, because I had so many questions. What inspired you to write Theology of Style? So, I got some experience working in New York as a style editor, and I decided that I didn't want to work in the industry anymore, nature and fashion.

It wasn't for me. I decided to leave and just start writing this book. The human person is composed of a body and soul. What we wear can aid in the expression of the human person, of the soul, and so the things that we put on our body can dignify our bodies, but it can also make visible the invisible of the human person. So, to express the beauty of your soul in a tangible way. And so, I just became so excited with that concept that I wanted to write a book about it.

I wanted to talk to young women about how what they wear can aid in their understanding of their worth, and their unrepeatability, their infinite value. We've all struggled with self-worth at some point in our lives. Have you had a personal experience with that? In the fashion industry, there's a lot of conformity.

There's a lot of people dressing the same way. Per the trend. Yeah. I felt more and more pressure to look like the successful fashion girlies. I started shopping at all of the stores that the fashion girls shopped at that were trendy. Everyone gets wary. And one time, I was walking down the street, and I looked into the reflective glass of a window of a building, and I could not find myself. I was like, where am I? And it was because what I was wearing just blended in with everybody else.

Wow. There was nothing about me that stood out anymore. You try to replicate what other people are doing, and then one day you realize, I don't even know what I like. I remember thinking when I was younger, if I have been made one of a kind and unrepeatable, why not dress that way? Nobody has ever existed that is just like you, and nobody is ever going to exist that is just like you. You're the only you that there ever will be, and that's how you were intended to be.

Okay, so we're about to go thrifting. Do you have any tips, or is it a part of, like, a bigger strategy that you do that when I get home, I should make sure I do? I have, like, five major tips. Number one is detox from fast fashion, detox from social media, magazines. Number two, build the foundation of your wardrobe. A lot of women look at their wardrobe, and they think, I have nothing to wear, but it's because they have a lot of bold statement pieces.

There's been not enough basic. And the number three is going and making a Pinterest board. I mean, we all have Pinterest, right? Yeah. Typing in street style or typing in a certain decade of fashion that you really like, and then what are the items that you are repeatedly pinning? Number four.

Is experimenting. Okay. So, don't be afraid to try some, like, kooky different things. Don't feel bound by rules. Try it on. Have fun. It's supposed to be fun. In personal style, it's supposed to be fun. And then tying into that is my fifth tip, which is to forgive yourself. Okay, break that down. Forget yourself. Yes. Okay, so personal style is a journey, okay? And you have to be kind to yourself. It's not about being perfect. It's really just about having fun and finding the pieces that make you feel confident, but then also are versatile in your wardrobe, so you can get a lot of wares out of one piece.

Well, out of all five tips, I have to admit, I'm most excited about the first one. I'm so excited about helping with the basics of my wardrobe because you're an expert. So, you want to go thrifting? Uh, yeah. Are you ready to go? I need some girl time.

So, as we dive into a day full of thrifting, I know sometimes I can almost feel like I'm leaving defeated because I didn't get the items that I intended to get. So, to kind of set today up for success, what is that mentality or the outlook I can have for today? I think that the key is to have no expectations. If you go into the store with no expectations, then that allows you to be drawn genuinely to items that you like.

Don't have an itemized list of things that you have. To get, that's the quickest way to be defeated if you don't find those things. A big thing is being willing to leave with nothing. Oh, my God. Yeah. Some days are not always going to be the best thrift days. And to enjoy the process. Yes. Okay. Enjoy the process, being willing to leave with nothing.

Okay, where do we start? Okay, I always start with dresses, because it's a full outfit, and when you find a gem, it's very exciting. It keeps your energy going. It gives you the motivation to keep going and find more treasures. Okay, so dresses.

When I see this, I'm overwhelmed. What do I even do? So, I like to start by looking for foundational pieces. You want to think about the basic items as the canvas, and then the other items that you put on top of the canvas as the paint. Look first for dresses that are black, gray, white. Those staple pieces. Yes. It's not as fun and crazy when you find a really bold print. Yeah. But if you're feeling like you don't have enough to wear, It's usually because you don't have those foundational pieces.

Foundational pieces are the more, like, classic, basic items, and then a statement piece is ones that have more fun prints, fun textures, colors. And so, this is a statement piece, but I'm wearing it with a darker top. I say, oh, this is more of a staple because it is dark gray, and so what I would do is I'd put this on top of it one day, and then another day, I would put, like, a white blouse, like a button-down, and I'd tie it.

And I've done it a lot at work, and people will think it's a complete and different outfit. I love that. Yeah. Okay, so this would be staple. Yes. But this would be statement. Exactly. So, should we dive in, find some staple and some statement? Yes. Okay.

All right, this is cool. This is a good example of a staple piece, because it's white. Yeah. You can wear it with a lot of different things. You can wear it with, like, red heels, or you can wear it with, like, a pair of, like, tall black boots. Okay, so you could even dress holiday, or you could dress work.

Or even, like, spring. Yeah. That's why. Okay. That's velvet. Oh, this is a cool example of finding vintage at the thrift store. Tell us, how do you know that it's vintage? Okay, so, first of all, the quality is always a lot better. So, you usually find things that have lining in them, and you can tell by the stitching that it's been really fortified. A lot of the time, we'll have bigger labels, and there'll be more time and care taken into how the logos look.

When's the last time you saw size 9? If that's vintage, what would be a A telltale sign that something isn't. Like, maybe this. Would this, how could you tell if this was, what would you call this? So, this would technically be a fast fashion piece. Fast fashion is anything that comes from H&M, Forever 21, typically made overseas.

The quality of the garment is... Not as great. Okay, so how could you tell about the quality? You can see through the fibers, whereas the other one, you cannot see through the fibers. Nowadays, we have a lot of these rectangular, longer tags. Instead of the embroidered? Okay, okay. So yeah, you have some stitching coming out. Or what, even here, you can see it? Yes. So although it's new, it's almost coming apart. Interesting. Okay, so this is a very good job. The belt.

The belt. This is a good example of a vintage item you can see by the tag. This is a vintage 80s piece. This is a statement piece, as opposed to a foundational piece. If you're somebody who loves retro 80s style, this is definitely the type of look for you, and that's where your personal style really shines. Okay. With these statement pieces. Okay. I saw this from the corner of my eye. I would put a belt on it, and then I would throw a blazer on, and I would make the blazer more of a statement piece.

So, by statement piece, I mean... Fun colors. It's like a houndstooth. It's like this. Okay. Yes. It will really serve as the canvas of your outfit, whereas this would serve as the paint, and people would be drawn to the statement piece, and then this would be kind of like the supporting.

Would you dress it up with a fun necklace, fun shoes, something like that? I would wear a big, chunky necklace, lots of gold, and then I would also wear heels with this. Oh, I love that. Nothing haunts you like the vintage you leave behind. Stop. So good.

Okay, so I noticed you never look at the size, because when I'm at a TJ Maxx or something, I go straight to my size. When it comes to vintage sizing, every decade has a different qualification for what makes a size 8. So, you might be a size 2 at the Gap, but in a vintage Laura Ashley dress, you might be a 12. Totally, okay. So, never let the tag deter you from trying something on and seeing if it works for your body.

Forget tag. Just try it on. So, I picked up this blazer. I really like the shape of it, and you can see that there's lining in it. Oh, it's so good. And when you go to big box stores, they never have lining inside of their blazers anymore. Wow. So, blazers that come from the 70s, 80s, 90s will just have a higher quality, and the lining... It protects the jacket so that it lasts a long time, and it's a lot warmer that way.

Lillian, thank you so much. You've given me so many great tips. I feel like I should have had a notebook, but then again, you wrote a book about it. So, ready to go? Yes, I'm going to check out, and let's go. Cool.

Lillian, thank you so much for taking me thrifting. First of all, so fun. I needed some girl time, but also I'm kind of in shock with these incredible pieces that we were able to find secondhand. Yeah, and I actually have a list of items that I would only ever buy secondhand. Okay, really, rattle them off. Yeah, so I would say blazers. Yeah, a white button-down, sweaters, and trench coats. Okay, well, we didn't get any trench coats, but I really want you to help me style some of these blazers, button-down skirts, and everything.

Yes, should we have a fashion show? Absolutely, let's do it. Fashion isn't just about following trends. It's about discovering who you are and expressing that in the way you dress. By embracing your own unique style, you're also embracing the beauty of who you were made to be. Dressing with intention isn't just about feeling great. It's about growing in confidence and creating the foundation to flourish.