After losing his wife of 63 years, Catholic professor offers profound response on what true love entails
The interviewer was moved to tears upon hearing Peter Kreeft’s response to what advice he has for people who are about to get married.
Philosophy professor and author Peter Kreeft, whose wife of 63 years died in May, recently offered a deeply moving piece of advice about the reality of marriage, reflecting on what it is like to encounter one’s beloved at the end of her life.
His advice, which went viral on social media, came during a July 13 interview with Catholic podcast host Matt Fradd. In the nearly three-hour interview, Kreeft and Fradd discussed topics including purgatory, technology, friendship, happiness, J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, and Kreeft’s marriage and the death of his wife, Maria. Near the end of the conversation, Fradd asked what advice Kreeft had for people who are newly married or who are about to be.
Kreeft replied, “Do you think that when you are very old, and your wife is very old, and ugly, and wrinkled, and fat, and not very bright, or even nasty, that you will still find her beautiful? If so, marry her.”
After a brief pause, Kreeft said, “The last view I had of my wife in the nursing home, about an hour after she died, I fell in love with her again.”
“Here is a wasted, emaciated, wrinkled, suffering body,” he continued.
Then Kreeft, looking briefly away with a loving smile in his eyes, said, “It’s as beautiful as a crucifix.”
Silence hung in the air between Kreeft and Fradd, whose eyes had welled with tears.
Finally, Kreeft continued, his eyes reflecting a knowing expression of hope, “‘Cause that body ain’t gonna last, but the soul is.”
“So if you don’t love her soul, but just love her body, don’t get married,” he said.
The exchange was shared on X July 13 by Catholic Joshua Charles, who said he found it “profoundly moving,” and reflected that “it’s no wonder marriage is a type of Christ and His Church.” The clip has reached 172.9 thousand views.
Kelsey Reinhardt, president and CEO of CatholicVote, reposted the video, encouraging others to watch it.
“A moment you simply cannot miss,” she said.
Afterward in the interview, Kreeft, a prolific author, continued by commenting that life is like a story trilogy, with a beautiful beginning, middle, and ending. Even death, he said, is beautiful.
"Yes, it is,” he said, “because death is the doorway to heaven.”
