Evangelization etiquette

She returned from Barcelona with a gift. Throughout the year, we had grown close as coworkers and classmates. I believed in Jesus; she was agnostic on a good day. I prayed openly, shared my faith when invited, and we laughed over cups of green tea.

When I unwrapped a cream-colored water bottle printed with the words Good News, I smiled. To her, it was a nod to my majors, journalism and Spanish. To me, it meant something more: the Gospel.

We all know that one cradle Catholic friend who only goes to Mass on Christmas and Easter, the St. Augustines and their Monica mothers, and even the loved ones who have never known Jesus or are completely overwhelmed by religion in general. Their souls, their dignity, and their happiness is on the line, which is why evangelization etiquette matters. 

Everyone has a conscience 

It’s easy to become self-conscious when sharing the faith and Jesus with someone. People tend to have preconceived ideas of what it means to be Catholic, especially if they’ve never been exposed to it. This shouldn’t deter us from sharing the faith. Why would you not share the secret to eternal life and happiness with everyone you can? For Christians, sharing the faith out of love for others is non-negotiable.  

While God gave all of us a conscience, it is necessary that we put in the effort to properly form our consciences. The different levels and types of formation people put into their consciences can help explain why most people treat others with respect, despite differences. Making your conversations about faith more about why you live the way you do invites inquiry and exploration without pressure that can feel like you are pushing a “foreign” lifestyle. 

God comes first, us second 

In order to evangelize effectively, we must first recognize that God is the one that changes lives, not us. It’s great to be on fire for our faith, but it’s easy to hold on to our pride. This surrender is important because you can’t control someone else. We must remember that Jesus respects everyone’s free will, and He is the one who calls each of us to Himself.

If they only have ears to hear 

It’s easier to have conversations with people who are open to listening. Sometimes, if we lead with logic and right answers, it quickly turns the conversation into an “us” and “them” situation. Someone can tell you the Truth, but until you experience it yourself, it’s hard to understand the good in what they're saying. And, it may even take several times before it sinks in. That’s why even practicing Catholics continue to reread Scripture, study church documents, and attend talks and retreats. 

Get up close and personal 

Tailoring how you share Jesus with others is vital. Different personalities are drawn to God in different ways. Perhaps the beauty of a cathedral sparks the interest in someone who likes beauty. If they enjoy discourse and truth, maybe some Pints with Aquinas podcasts need to be shared. Some are drawn to altruistic elements of the faith like service. For me, it was the lives of the saints.

Listen first, speak second 

Nobody likes to be preached at or talked down to. To avoid miscommunication, we must listen. This is especially helpful when speaking with someone who’s experienced church hurt. We must remember, Jesus was constantly, emotionally vulnerable. If I could sum up the Gospel, it would be Jesus looking to outpour the Love of the Father, and being turned away and misunderstood. Thankfully, we know the story doesn’t end there. 

Throughout Scripture, Jesus shows that He cares deeply for others’ personal circumstances and desires. He wants to heal the places where shame, confusion, and destruction sit. We need Jesus to work through us. We are merely His vessels. This is the key to evangelization. 

Gentle invitations 

Why don’t the megaphones and the pamphlet evangelization usually work? Well… it feels overwhelming and disheartening when someone else shares their faith in a way that treats the other person like a project. 

The best way to get someone to listen is to first be their friend out of genuine love for them. Then, start inviting. Ask those closest to you to pray with you, participate in Sacraments if they’re able, or attend a church event. It’s all about the invitation to live life together first. It’s okay to invite more than once. Even if they don’t respond or you don’t see if they’ve taken steps, that’s where surrender comes in. 

Trust in Divine Providence

Never underestimate the little things — sharing an article or recommending a spiritual read. God gives us those inspirations to plant seeds in others or reaffirm wisdom someone else shared. The life of faith is a process, and everyone grows over time. In the same way, we trust that God will ensure the person you love will grow closer to Him, even if we don’t see the results in this life.