Holy guilt or a calling: How to tell if a mission year is for you
When everyone around you seems to know how God is calling them to serve, how can you discern whether you are feeling your true calling or holy guilt?
Over the years, I’ve watched friends apply for and join mission programs left and right. Volunteering for a summer serving on a farm, feeding the homeless, or taking two years to share the faith with young college students. I was continually inspired by everyone around me doing incredible things for Christ. It made me wonder if I was supposed to be doing something more sacrificial with my own life. Was I experiencing holy guilt or a calling?
What it means to be “on mission”
A mission year is a dedicated time in your life where you put yourself last and put others first. It’s often framed as a gap year where young adults live in intentional communities, devote their days to community service, and grow their relationship with Christ. It sounds idyllic! It’s also a time of serious personal growth, with unique challenges.
This can be an amazing opportunity to mesh personal interests and passions with love of God. Programs and organizations like Ohio’s Damascus and SPO have a strong zeal for teaching others about Jesus. Want to serve the homeless? Milwaukee’s Kinship and Christ in the City have you covered. If you love the outdoors, Camp Wotjya or FOCUS’ Summer Projects could be great fits.
With so many incredible options, why didn’t I ever find the right one for me?
The dangers of comparison
Flashback to my junior year in college. A pile of mission year pamphlets I had collected were either withered or severely crumpled.
Erica serves the homeless and gives out prayer cards of Dorothy Day. Simon leads JP2-inspired backpacking trips, and I’m not even traveling anywhere or doing anything. I exasperatedly whined in the confessional, “What’s wrong with me?”
The priest looked back at me, seriously.
“You don’t want to be Simon or Erica. You don’t know what’s going on in their lives to think theirs is somehow better. I’d prefer you to be yourself. And that’s all you have to be.”
This made me take a step back. My life is good as it is. I don’t need to move far away to have Christ work through and in me. I can bring Christ with me when I order a coffee at the coffee shop. I am “on mission” in the way I treat and talk with my friends. I can fuse my passions and my love for Christ even if I’m working an office job. What’s more, I have the rest of my life to uncover the little and large missions that God has uniquely designed for me!
If I was truly being honest with myself, I didn’t have the desire to do a missionary program. I thought I should take a missionary year out of guilt, comparison, and obligation. I had to ask myself: was I actually drawn to a mission year? Had God placed this as a passion on my heart? The truthful answer was, “no.” God had a different plan for me.
How to tell if a mission year is right for you
If you feel the same way, there are plenty of alternative ways to serve and honor God right where you are. Volunteer at a local food pantry, donate to a clothing drive, or seek out a Catholic workplace. Take a deep breath and remember, there isn’t a one-size fits all approach to being Catholic.
Feel inspired by the list of mission year programs above? Start by praying about it. Seek out good counsel. Start contacting organizations that align with your talents and disposition. Go ahead and apply! If you’re meant to do a mission year, God will make it possible for you to do so.
Wherever you find yourself, God never forces you to do anything. He only invites.
