Masculinity isn’t toxic—but confusion about it definitely is. In a world quick to cancel male strength, it’s time to reclaim what real manhood looks like: protective, purposeful, emotionally grounded, and unapologetically responsible. Here are five ways to live out authentic masculinity without falling into the traps of aggression, passivity, or performance.
1. Take responsibility for your actions
No more blaming God or your dad. Take the L, learn, level up. By taking responsibility for your actions, you can grow in leadership, make sure your own life runs smoothly, and be better prepared to face whatever challenges come your way.
You can accept your own woundedness and work through it. By acknowledging your failures and/or trauma, whether self-made or inflicted upon by others, you can be the role model your younger self would have needed. That’s testosterone well spent.
"You can't handle the truth!" – Col. Jessup, A Few Good Men
(But you can. In fact, it will set you free.)
Try it
Drop the victim mentality—ask “What could I have done differently?”
Build a “no-excuse” journal—track your mistakes and how you owned them.
2. Be able to make decisions
Don’t make excuses, no bailouts, just do the thing. Making decisions is about being your own man rather than trying to measure up to someone else.
People go unprotected, and good goes undone when men don’t take action. Think of Adam in the Garden of Eden, who left Eve alone, or Peter Parker, who could have prevented his Uncle Ben’s death.
The ability to make prudent decisions, stay faithful, and show up is essential in all relationships in your life.
"A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything." – Malcolm X (portrayed by Denzel Washington)
Try it:
Pick the dinner spot, the weekend plan, or the vacation—don’t be the “I dunno, you pick” guy.
Practice fast, low-stakes decisions daily to build confidence for the big ones.
Use the “80% rule”—if you’re 80% sure, take action. Waiting for perfection = paralysis.
3. Grow your emotional intelligence
By understanding and expressing your emotions, you can face vulnerability and intimacy without fear. Being able to connect with others on a deep and fulfilling level is what makes us human.
You’ll have a better idea of when to speak and when to stay quiet. With emotional intelligence, you’ll not only be able to keep your cool, but you’ll know when to get upset and take action for the right reasons.
Suppression isn’t strength. It’s okay to let it out.
"The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room." – Frank Lucas, American Gangster
Try it
Name your emotions instead of numbing them—start with “I feel because .”
Ask your closest people how you handle stress or conflict—and actually listen.
Read one book or podcast per month on mindset, relationships, or spiritual or emotional growth.
4. Protect others
A true man protects those who are vulnerable. The goal is to leave someone better than where you found them. You can help someone else through volunteering and good works. You can be a good listener to those that need your counsel and presence. You can protect by providing for others with your job or secure finances. You can even use your wit to get out of sticky situations.
Protection doesn’t automatically mean violence. What it does mean is facing confrontation with clarity. Be man enough for both.
"Your life will always matter more." – Ethan Hunt, Mission:Impossible – Dead Reckoning
Try it
Speak up when someone’s being mistreated—online or in person.
Walk someone to their car or check in after a night out—simple, but powerful.
Take up a self-defense class—not to start fights, but to end them if needed.
5. Have long-term goals
This means planning in advance, gentlemen! Purpose keeps you focused, grounded, and less likely to chase meaningless validation.
It also means developing your person by trying new hobbies, exploring new places, and learning how to fix things! It’s being driven by what inspires you. Lay the foundation for your future by bringing goodness to others through your talents. Whether it’s learning to fix that leaky showerhead or composing your own song, masculine energy thrives on direction. Take pride in your work!
"What we do in life echoes in eternity." – Maximus, Gladiator
Try it:
Write a 5-year vision—career, relationships, health—then reverse-engineer it.
Set one major goal per quarter and break it down into weekly actions.
Track progress once every week so you stay accountable, not just inspired.