When prayer is dry: The gentle discipline of a 33-day return to God

Never underestimate the graces you’ll receive by reading. For example, a 33-day consecration or even a spiritual book of your choice can help maintain and revitalize your relationship with God, even if you’re struggling to be present in prayer. The spiritual practice of setting dedicated time aside for prayer and reflection over an intentional 33-day period originally comes from St. Louis de Montfort. Imitating a novena, which is a nine day practice of praying for a specific intention, de Montfort’s 33 days were meant to empty oneself of the world. The number 33 symbolizes how old Jesus was when He died, and the goal of the devotion is to recommit yourself to your relationship with God. 

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri J.M. Nouwen is one of those spiritual books that helped deepen my relationship with God. Growing up as a cradle Catholic, I always identified with the older son in the parable of the Prodigal Son; I grew up innocent and wanting the good as a kid, and I recommitted myself to living my Catholic faith more deeply and authentically in college. However, over time I came to realize that I was even more so like the prodigal son, as I progressed in the spiritual life. The further we progress down the straight and narrow path, the more we see our own errors and brokenness, and all the ways we push away God and choose our own will over His. Climbing towards the Source and Summit that is Jesus Christ, I found just how far I truly am from living how He teaches us to — and that the character of the prodigal son is someone I could relate to.

Humility – the backwards virtue

Ironically, when I crumble beneath my own merits, that’s precisely where God wants to scoop me up and love me all the more. Humility is such a backwards virtue to us humans; andyet, relying totally on God is what makes us truly resilient in the face of our own struggles and the broken state of the world. God wants to make you divine in His likeness. He wants to divinize you with Himself. His grace is sufficient for you. And for me. 

In college, I discovered that my life flourished the more I chose God’s way. However, there were times that I resented, became confused, or felt apathy for God’s plan and His timing. And there are moments I still do. 

Still, what’s wonderful is that God is always in control. No matter what I’m feeling or not feeling, He is the constant one in our relationship. And He neither judges me nor condemns me. What matters is that I never give up and keep running back to Him. When prayer is dry and I’m struggling, reading a spiritual book is the way I return to my Father, just like the prodigal son.

My grace is sufficient for you

I’ll never forget finishing Finding God the Father by Rev. Msgr. Richard L. Carroll, which outlines personal testimonies on retreat about becoming closer to the Father. I read it in an attempt to connect with God Father when I felt estranged. All I can tell you is how my small effort of reading and seeking God was rewarded. I know that a simple book kickstarted my zeal to follow Him and to continue on. That turning point wasn’t in the immediate moment, but after I finished. God’s graces revitalized me after I was consistent and steady in my reading and in my commitment to seek Him. Chapter after chapter, I was making my return. The Father saw me from afar and came running. He put a robe around my shoulders and sandals on my feet. No matter how far you go, you can’t outrun the Father aching for your return.

Keep reading for some of my favorite 33-day consecrations and spiritual reads to start your own journey to the Father. 

My favorite paths of return: Must-read 33-Day consecrations

Father Gaitley’s 33 Days to Morning Glory

A bonafide Marian 21st century classic.

Sheltered Within Her Heart: 33 Days of Preparation for Deeper Entrustment to Mary

If you’re looking to go deeper into Marian Consecration and see how Trinitarian our lives are supposed to be, this is a great pick. 

Consecration to St. Joseph: The Wonders of Our Spiritual Father

An insightful and thoughtfully masculine read about spiritual fatherhood and St. Joseph’s role as foster father and spouse of Mary. 

Spiritual reading to reset your relationship with God 

Loved As I Am: An Invitation to Conversion, Healing, and Freedom through Jesus

Short and easy read that challenges your heart and invites you to accompany Sister Miriam through her past.

St. Augustine’s Confessions

So relatable for anyone who has struggled with living in the world and not of it. If you’ve questioned the origins of Truth, and confuse natural and tangible goodness as the ultimate goal rather than a reflection of God, this is your next read.  

Edith Stein’s Essays on Women

Groundbreaking. St. Teressa Benedicta of the Cross, known as Edith Stein, illuminates key virtues, biological aspects, and mindsets that women naturally possess. She uncovers the unsaid truths of the feminine heart and encourages a pro-woman world while teaching why women are created unique, yet compatible with men. Her ideas overlap and have inspired St. John Paul the Second’s Theology of the Body. This book singlehandedly fostered one of my reversions.

A Memory of Wonders: A True Story 

This one reads more like a discernment beach read and gives great insight into the Moroccan, French, and even communist cultures. Mother Veronica Namoyo Le Goulard was originally born Lucette into a French family of communists that lived in the Moroccan frontier. Her family swore that she would never believe in any religion, but God had other plans. This autobiography covers Mother Veronica’s conversion and conviction that God does exist. 

The Devil in the Castle: St. Teresa of Avila, Spiritual Warfare, and the Progress of the Soul

A great, practical introduction to St. Teresa, a helpful beginner’s guide for identifying spiritual warfare while offering straightforward practicals for creating a rule of life.