The current dating scene is rough — Gen Z has been hit hard by the aftermath of the sexual revolution, divorce, hook-up culture, and pornography. But men and women were created to complement each other, and many of us are still called to marriage, even if we think there aren't any good men out there.
It turns out that there are plenty of virtuous, God-fearing men who want to be husbands and fathers. Before you sign up for the apps, here are some places you can find those men.
School (college, grad school, alumni events)
I’m not saying you should go into student debt just to get your MRS degree, but if you’re in college or grad school, it’s a great time to be open to a serious relationship. Dating in college has many advantages. Because you spend a lot of time together, you can see how he reacts to stress, treats others, and takes responsibility. You also are surrounded by a community that can serve as a buffer against red flags or bad men, because you usually spend more time with friends than you will after you graduate. These friends will notice and probably comment if a relationship is having a negative impact on you.
If you are attending a Catholic school, especially one recommended by the Cardinal Newman guide, you’re more likely to meet somebody with similar values. If you are at a secular school, your college’s Newman center or FOCUS group is a great way to meet men serious about their faith.
Finally, if you’ve already passed graduation, it might be worth attending your school’s alumni events! I know several couples who went to college together but didn’t date, ran into each other years later, and discovered love at second sight!
Family
Remember how your mom used to nudge and ask who the cute boy talking to you is? Parents and siblings have a vested interest in seeing you in a happy, loving, supportive relationship. Letting your family know that you’re looking to find somebody can open up a whole network of friendships and acquaintances that could be perfect for you.
Your parents already know a lot about you, and probably have a decent idea of what kind of man you would be compatible with. So next time your mom winks at you before introducing you to somebody at a wedding or a parish picnic, don’t brush her off.
Mutual friends (or nosy acquaintances)
Similarly, let your friends know that you’re looking to meet somebody. Just like your family, friends already care about your well-being and know you well enough to have some idea of your preferences. They are also likely to cast a wider net through their own acquaintances, former classmates, or family.
Older family friends, especially women, LOVE setting up young couples, so you can even let the little old ladies praying the Rosary at the back of the church know that you’re in the dating market.
Volunteering, charity work, or mission trips
Mission-focused groups are often filled with young, enthusiastic Catholics who are serious about their faith, and thus see marriage as a sacrament. Groups like FOCUS, Net Ministries, and Christ in the City usually involve at least a year of mission, giving you a lot of time to get to know each other. You can bond over your shared mission, experiences, and memories.
Church
Finally, there’s probably some great young men in the pews every Sunday at your local parish. If you live in a small or rural town, you might have to attend a large parish to widen the demographic, or bounce around to different Mass times. Regularly attending things like the parish’s young adult ministry will increase your likelihood of meeting someone.