Accidents, Hospitals, and the Humor in Hard Things (Iris Bahr) | Ep. 45

I don't know. So, what are your impressions of the New York encounter? Well, I didn't know what to expect. I mean, I did expect nunnery and priests. I didn't expect the vast majority of the people to be Italian. A lot of Italians. A lot of Italian. Always stylish. Right. Even the Catholics, which is pretty much everyone. Yeah, I mean, it's a very festive vibe. Some dark stuff. Some dark tables. There's some dark tables, some dark themes. Yeah, we embrace all of it.

Embrace all of it. As one should. But you haven't gotten to go to any of the talks yet. No, and I would have liked to. I did want to go see Hell, Not Hell. Hell, but not hell. Exactly. It's hell. It is not hell. Making the most of hell. Optimizing hell. And can the past be healed, which, as I already told you, it cannot. No. So, I don't know, do Catholics have a secret sauce to healing the past? Confession. We are all about confession.

Which heals it for, like, the day? No, no. Until you repeat. It's everything. You start fresh all over again. Everything looking forward. Everything looking forward. Now, I don't know if we talked about this before, but how does that not become a crutch or, like, lack of accountability?

Well, I think it's like any other relationship, right? If I harmed our friendship in some way, right? Which you do all the time. Which is a recurring thing. Yes, and I'm sure you confess to your priest, and then come back and do it again.

I mean, it's just like any other habit, right? It's like, if you're falling backwards, you restore it. You keep restoring it, even if it's repetitive, until eventually you stop doing the thing, right? Do you think people stop doing the thing? I think if they are, yeah, because you're... You are calling it to attention. You are getting, effectively, counseling for it, right? So, the priest gives some festive advice. He does. Beyond just say these prayers.

Yeah, sometimes they are like pretty quick, and sometimes, as you know, I go to spiritual direction. Okay, that is more therapeutic. That is more therapeutic. Is it more like cognitive behavioral therapy? I mean, it is more like, it is like the difference between going to your, just... Any hospital can address a wound when you walk in the door, right? But there's always Mount Sinai. But then there's, yeah.

And then there's Bellevue. I love Bellevue. Bellevue's great. I got hit by a truck, I went to Bellevue. This is a story I feel like, was there a miracle involved in this? Well, triage was not a miracle. So, I got hit by a truck. It was a hit and run. It was a New York City Parks Department. I was riding my bike back from clown class.

True story. This is... Drove off, and then... It's the kind of stuff you only get here on the walk-up. Always. And it was on Lafayette and Great Jones, in the bike lane, and then I was crisplatted on the floor. I'd never been hit by a truck, and I barely bicycled. I had a little bike, like a little kid's bike, because I'm, you know, I'm a woman child. And then, I went to... They took me to Bellevue. I remember the EMT's name.

He goes... They call me the Dolphin. I don't know if I was like, is that upsetting or comforting? I couldn't tell. It was like a porn name. You know, like... The dolphin. I get to Bellevue, and Bellevue is where they take all the convicts, too, so on each other's side, I had two guys handcuffed to their beds, and I'm there with a torn shoulder and a broken... There was a homeless guy in the gown with the butt-revealing gown who kept running around and every time he'd run, the gown would flutter open and I'd get a really nice glimpse of the rear end, which was not in great shape.

I'm just saying a lot was happening there, which I didn't want to see. And so, I'm there, and nothing's happening, and I'm there for hours, and you're still shocked. You get hit by a vehicle, you're still shocked, and I'm alone. I don't want to call my dad, because I don't want him to worry. This is the idiot in me. I don't want to call my dad to worry. It's midnight, one in the morning, two in the morning, three in the morning, and my best friend...

Are you getting pain meds, at least? No, nothing, but I choose not to. This gets better. And so, my friend was in medical school at the time, at NYU, which I guess is there, right? And it's in the middle of the night. This is pre-cell phone, okay? This is how old I am. So, this is pre-cell phone, and so I asked the police officer who's watching over the... My convict's next to me. Can you call my friend and tell her that E.

Reese is in the ER? Can she come down and help me? Because no one was even talking to me. Because also, someone had gotten hit by a subway, and they were prioritizing him, as one should. The size of the transport is really the order of priority. It is, exactly. If you're smushed over by a subway, you get first dibs on the bed. So, he goes over, and he calls with the landline, because we were in landline land.

And he goes, and it's three in the morning, and my friend answers the phone, and he goes, and I go, tell her Eris is down here, and he goes, Clarice is here, and my friend hangs up, because he thinks it's a prank call. I go, no, no, no, no, it's Eris, and he calls again, and she answers again, and he goes, Eunice! I'm like, oh my God! Eunice, Clarice, Edith, whatever, he did the whole thing, and I finally said, it's Eris, it's Eris, and she heard me, and she came down within five minutes, because she's got connections, you know, got me in, and then we get in, and we see a doctor who says to me, That they have to try and adjust the bone.

The bone is crooked. It is like broken and crooked, and would I want pain meds? And I said, no, I can handle it. I do not know why I said that. I think it is a control thing. See, you want to be Catholic. This is where we offer it up. I know, I know. You are right. You want this to be Catholic. It was a control thing. I did not want to be sedated. I was freaking out, and I held my friend's hand, and he started adjusting the bone with no anesthetic, and I crushed my friend so hard, she goes...

Listen, bitch, you got to sedate, even local sedation. So, they locally sedated, and he was moving my bone around. He couldn't straighten it, right? He goes, you need surgery, and then he says to me, but don't do it here, and don't tell them I said that, and I was like, what the? So, now I'm embroiled in Bellevue politics, and I'm also like, ah. And so, I go to check out of the hospital. I want to go home. He says, go see this specialist, this guy Keith Raskin.

He's a big handspun. Go see him tomorrow. So, then I go up, and she goes, oh, we have the OR scheduled you for the operation tonight. You have to do it, and we have a room ready for you on the whatever floor, and I didn't know what to say, and I was like, uh, no.

No, I'm not going to do the surgery here. My daddy... That's what came out. It goes, my daddy knows a doctor. That's what came out of my mouth. My daddy knows a doctor. And she's like, did anyone tell you to... Yeah, like literally, it was kind of messed up. Because it's happening a lot to them, yeah. And I go, no, no. And I checked out, and I went to see Dr. Raskin. You know, you wait for hours. It's one of those offices where they put you in 17 different rooms, and you wait for hours.

And he adjusted the bone and put me in a cast. I was in a cast for months, and the bone was resorbing, but I ended up... Healing without surgery. Talk about a good doctor. No pins, no anything. He just kept, he goes, stay the course, stay the course. He kept moving and shifting, and there, I don't know which arm it is. I think it's this one. I had a night, it's called a nightstick fracture, because back in the day, you'd guard yourself from the nightstick, and that would be the bone.

But you were guarding yourself from a parks truck. From the parks department. The guy was stoned, drinking, I don't know, blasting music. Just didn't even realize he hit me, I think. And then... I sued. And it was, you know, I felt guilty suing, because it was post-9-11, as if whatever, but the police lost the police report, and I feel like it's connected to the New York City parks, like it's all, like, they're all in court, you know what I mean?

And nobody showed up, like, he didn't show up for the trial, and then the guy, their attorney was very, like, I had a terrible attorney, who would show up late, he would complain to me about his daughter not sleeping, I'm like, dude, you're 45 minutes late, he's like, yeah, I didn't sleep last night, my baby was crying, I'm like, why am I here? The guy, their attorney, was super slick and kept making it seem like I was an actor, and I faked it, and I ran into the truck on purpose to get money.

They were profiling you because you were coming from clown class. Exactly, and I was like, why would I, and how do you even coordinate that, you know? He's like, were you four feet away or two feet? I'm like, I didn't have a measuring, like, I didn't bring a yardstick to measure the crash distance.

And he made me feel like I was a liar. It was a horrible experience, and I ended up settling, because I was like, I don't want to deal with this shit and a jury, and, you know, so I just settled. Oh, but it's okay. Yeah, it's something, and they did give the attorney a third. But then, the minute I said I'm going to settle, and we agreed, he came up to me, because he made it seem the whole trial that I was lying.

He goes, you didn't really listen. The minute, and he goes, I'm so sorry that that truck hit you. He totally admitted that he knew. It was like the minute, the minute it was done, he came up to me like, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It must have been horrible. Like, you are so oily.

It doesn't make you want to go into law. No, no. Well, but maybe it doesn't want you to make you go to clown school, either. Yeah. Well, no, I'm a big clown fan. I'm actually putting together a clown festival in New York, so that's going to happen hopefully in the next year. This is new. I didn't know about this. I'm obsessed with clown, but not like circus clown. I mean, there are a lot of circus clowns, but I do more like Bill Irwin, you know, or like Roberto Benigni would be a clown, you know what I mean?

Like the physical. Almost more, not mime, but more. No, no, mime. It's just more poetic, clown, you know. So, I saw some brilliant acts when I was doing my show in Toronto last year, Montreal, and so I want to bring them, and so I'm collaborating, and we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted on that. I actually broke out of a hospital as well. My friend was similarly, we had kind of gotten hooked up with a great surgeon. Okay. He needed to have, you know, serious.

He had a gastrointestinal surgery, and he had a, I think they call it a G-tube? I don't know. I think that's what it's called. So, he had a tube that was going up into his nose and then down into his bowel. Oh, wow. Because that's how they... The bile that collects, that is how they get it out, but it is really a process to get that thing in, so you do not want to take it out. No, right. So, we are talking to the surgeon, who is, gosh, I do not remember the names of the hospital, Upper East Side somewhere, and he is like, listen, here is the deal, you need to get here for the surgery, and we are like, oh yeah, we have been trying for two days to get released from this hospital, and he is like, just leave.

Oh, God. He's like, I'm telling you, because the surgery was that urgent. He's like, I just want to make sure I'm clear on this. Have you ever advised a potential patient to break out of a hospital? He's like, no, this would be a first. So, you didn't even do the discharge papers. You just left. He's like, no, this is literally a life and death situation. Yes, and this was not a great hospital. He just didn't trust the hospital to do it.

He just said, listen, he didn't have privileges there. So, he's like, I'm the one who can do the surgery. I'm ready. I'm willing to do it. So, my poor friend, who's very weak at this point, he's wrapped in my flannel shirt.

We get out of the hospital. He's, like, leaning on me in the elevator, like, barely staying up. Well, he's got this tube sticking out of his nose. Oh, Jesus. And then we get, I called an Uber. I was like, I'll have the Uber waiting.

It's one of those times where they can't, you know, they just cancel on you. Yes. Like, it's around the corner, and they cancel. Yes, yes. I then say, I then. I put him literally against the wall on the ground, and I sprint into traffic, and I find a cab, and I'm like, you have to come here. So, we get there. The best part, not the best part, but adding to the misery. The most fun part of this. We finally get to the hospital where this amazing surgeon has privileges, and I say, Listen, my friend has a G-tube hanging out of his nose.

We're referred by this famous doctor, surgeon guy, and they're like, yeah, yeah, just wait. We're like, no, let me explain. We have, and they're like, yeah, yeah, just fill out the forms, whatever. Then once we get in, they're like, oh my gosh, he's really, I'm like, yeah, I told you. And it was like an ER episode when we finally got him in there, like swarms of nurses and doctors coming in, working on him. And I'm like, here's the paperwork, here's the scans, whatever, and then we got the surgery done, I think, later on that night.

But, yeah, New York City Hospital Systems. It's so crazy. Obviously, having to do anything medical is never fun, and as you get older, the frequency obviously increases, and you know, you and I, we lost a friend, you know, Avram, and spent a lot of time at the hospital, but for some reason, people are still obsessed with hospital shows, and I just started watching The Pit. I tried watching the first episode. It's very intense, because there's no music. It's like The Wire.

There's no music cues. It's like you're literally in the ER. Very graphic, but I dig it. I don't know why. Some stuff, I'm rolling my eyes, because I can see the writing, and it's very clunky. Other times, it's really good, and he's very captivating and charming, and because there's no music, you're like, oh, this is more prestige. You know what I mean? Like, this is less pulpy, just because there's no music cues. I'm sure... It's like when they took the laugh tracks out.

Exactly, like, oh, okay. You know, everything's happening in the yard, really dramatic, but it's just quiet, and all you hear is the audio. But it's so interesting that we are... Is it maybe because you feel like you're cheating death by, you know, watching a medical show of things that are worse off, so it makes you feel better? Like, at least I'm not in the hospital, you know? Well, I think it's just because, like, You know, legal shows, cop shows... Yeah, but legal is not as cringy as...

It's just because there's human drama, there's... A beginning, a middle, and an end. Like, either the person dies or they don't. Yes. You know, you're drawn into a lot of stress. I think it's just because those situations are easier to write, I think. Well, I think you're right. You're absolutely right. It's also like some stuff, like there's this whole storyline with these parents that lose a young child, right? And I'm like, to what? Is it just easy because it's the most dramatic?

And then you have to deal with the organ donation. All you're seeing are these very depressed parents. The whole episode, every week. Because it is every hour of the shift, right? So, every episode is an hour of the night shift, or whatever the shift is.

And this last episode I watched, and I was like, oh, and they are still there crying a lot, and it is just sad, and there is no mileage or any sort of interesting, they have another abortion storyline that deals with abortion, okay, fine.

And at some point, I am like, why am I watching this? I do not know. I do not know why I am watching this. I could be watching a comedy and uplifting my spirits, but here I am watching these parents grieve. And it is like I have enough grief in my own life. It is not like I am, you know what I mean? That is what my shows are about, and grief and loss, and I am like, what is it about that?

Are you a White Lotus person? That is happening tonight. I am excited. Yes. Also, what is happening tonight is the SNL 50th anniversary episode. That is tonight. Yeah. I think they are live streaming it on Peacock. It is on Sunday night. Yeah. Not Saturday. Is today Saturday? Today is Sunday. Yeah, so it's Sunday night. That's what I'm saying. It's tonight. So, the 50th anniversary is not taking place on Saturday night, for Saturday Night Live? Oh, I... I thought, did it stream live last night?

Yeah, you're right. It does make sense that Saturday Night Live would happen on Saturday night. Oh, my God. Unless they're like, we want more viewers. No, you're right. They had the concert. They had the big concert at Radio City, right, with all these acts. Maybe that was it. Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this, because I have no idea. Yeah, we'll just... Can we Google it? Go back to White Lotus. Okay. I do like White Lotus, even though the trailer felt very similar to the previous season.

I feel like they're like, this is the formula that worked. It's another murder mystery, and it's a lot of attractive people, and like the bratty this, you know what I mean? But it's still escapism. It's fun. I find it interesting.

Who's careers they choose to try to resurrect? Yes, like who's in this one? Parker Posey? Yeah, Parker Posey's in it, and there's another character actor that I can't recall his name. But, I mean, was it Michael Imperioli last time? Yeah, who's great. He's great, and he's just like, you forgot about him since Sopranos, basically. Yes, I think Parker Posey's brilliant, and then I met her in person. She was very unfriendly to me, and it really was like, don't meet your heroes, because I think she's so funny and good.

I will still enjoy watching her, but I was like, why are you mean to me? No, it is like... Why are you mean to me? I am so nice. I am a big fan of John Mayer's music, but I am not a fan of John Mayer's interviews. I don't want to know anything about you. Is he cocky? It is just like, there is a little bit of like, I have got a theory on life, on everything. I am like... See, Matthew McConaughey does that, but he actually has insights.

Like, apparently, his book is fantastic. Oh, really? Yeah, his book, like Life Wisdom, is supposed to be really great and deep. Okay. And you are not thinking, oh, here is my guru. You know, here is the guy drumming. What is his name? Yes, you are just judging the southern drawl. Exactly. No, but apparently he is like, I am like, okay, all right. Well, his best actor speech was pretty good. Was it? I do not recall it. Yes, it was all about like, you know, perseverance and focusing on whatever.

Yes, no, he seems like a solid dude. Yes, well, I like him particularly because we were both obsessive Washington Commanders fans, although I still said Redskins. What sport is that? That is a foot. Football americano. Football americano. No calcio. Eccolo. Allora. Dunque, quindi.

I did that with a couple of Italians. I thought it was much more entertaining than they did. They didn't, no. Eh, eh. Iris, allora. Yeah, I'm not a, it's not a healthy thing for me, my obsession with, so I used to watch these football games as a child. Okay.

Because people are like, oh, your family must have been big fans. I'm like, no, no, just me. I would wear... By the way, it's so hot in here. I'm literally, like, narcoleptic. I'm, like, leaning back. I'm like, I feel like my eyes are closing. Just keep talking, Sean.

I'd be like... Well, and you're in all black with the black bike track. We're just going to have your floating head. I did a mime class in L.A. It was horrible. Walking upstairs, riding fake bicycles. I can't believe I'm in a mime class. Were there some transferable skills? Well, there was a very, very famous mime who was teaching. I used to do a lot of physical theater, and I loved all that mask work. And when I teach, I just taught. I did a little seminar at URI.

For the seniors, juniors and seniors there, and so I love doing physical theater work, and so when you have a master mime from the 60s teaching a class, you take it. Sure. That is a rule of life. If you have a mastermind, you take it. He was a character, but when you are doing it, you feel like such an idiot. You are like, I am in the box. It just becomes such a cliche. I did do one, I was at some conference and they offered kind of a free intro improv class where there is the like, here is the ball.

Right, yes. I am catching the ball. Yes, yes. I am like, I don't think this is for, I should just, I will do the talking thing. I am not really. Well, I got to tell you, you know, I do these. Professional development workshops, and one of the exercises I do, which works really well, is, yeah, you have a ball. The ball has a color, right? So, you stand in a big circle. Usually, it is a big group, like 30 people, and then I say, red, and I throw it, and you catch it, but then I throw a bunch of different balls in different colors, and everyone has to listen, and there is contact, and inevitably, one ball or two will be gone by the end of the exercise.

So, it is actually a very helpful, interesting thing where you are connecting the voice, the body, and the person. Okay. And it does improve. You are a good communicator, but a lot of people that have issues with any of that, they are not in their body, their voice is not connected to their body, and they are not connecting to other people.

You know what it is like when you talk to someone and they are not all there? It is not aligned, yeah. It is weird, right? But when someone is fully engaged, so you have people that are more suddenly hypervigilant, and they are looking for the ball, and the whole energy of the room shifts. So, don't knock the passing the ball stuff, okay? So, the only interpersonal, you know. So, the first non-verbal training that I got was when I owned this, I had this company for a little while where we were hiring salespeople, and so the sales, there's like a consultancy that can help you hire great salesmen or something, and they said, well, why don't you come to our, like, Training class, whatever, you can see how we do sales training or whatever, and they were explaining how you have different types of buyers, different types of sellers, and there were four different kinds of sea animals, sea creatures.

Okay. Speaking of dolphin, one of them was a dolphin. There's a dolphin, the whale, the shark, and the octopus. Okay. So, the octopus... So, Tentacles, he is looking for data. He wants to know more about the product before he makes a decision, give me details, give me specs, whatever.

The Whale wants consensus. He wants like, oh, let us ask Bob about it. Let us make sure that he is on board. Let us talk to my boss. Let us talk to Mary Sue. It is always Bob and Mary Sue. These are very popular names now. My dad did this. My dad would always reference, when he would use people's references, it was always like, it was a name that nobody, it was like, oh, well, why don't we ask Esther? Yeah, why don't we ask Mort?

Dorothy. Dorothy, my mom. My mom, whenever she would recount a story, like, so my mom had a green card when she lived here, and then when she moved back to Tel Aviv, she would come visit me, and she was always afraid that they would take away the green card, because apparently you have to be in America at least a couple times a year. Like, you have to still have some sort, you can't, you know what I mean? Like, certain people just travel every year just to sustain their green card.

Oh, okay. There's some rule about it. I don't remember, but she was... Minimum amount of days or something. Something like that, but she was always nervous, and she literally, my mom was, you know, still is very anxious. human being and she's constantly like oh god they're going to stop me and the green card and inevitably they would always call her into a room and question her and she would always every time she would tell me the story it always sounded like a like a colombo like a 1950 like so lady like she would always say lady i'm like who do people still use lady lady why don't you have your green card like it was just you know it was like and then colombo they always does One more thing.

One more thing, yeah, but this was like Miss Boise, lady, always. It is so interesting, and finally, one year, and I go, Mom, stop worrying about this. Like, you have been worrying about this for 20 years. Every year, they never take your green card away, until finally, one year, they took it away.

And she was so relaxed after that, because she was so worried about this, and it finally was like a self-fulfilling prophecy. She is like, I knew it, now I can relax, because now there is nothing to worry about anymore. They took it, and now she can come in on a tourist visa. Yeah, like I said, you can still visit. It's not a problem. It wasn't, but it's like so interesting where you're worried about something, and then when it happens, you're actually happy it happened, because then you don't feel like a crazy person.

Like, I told you it was going to happen, but also like, oh, so now I don't have to worry. It's like people without possessions. You know what I mean? If you're worried about someone stealing something, stealing something, or ruining this, ruining that, when you don't have it anymore, you're like, oh, okay. Closure. Great. No, I mean, you see this with... All those terrible fires in L.A., a lot of people are just like, wow, I guess there's nothing. Okay, I guess I can't worry about possessions anymore.

That's it. Although, I heard about this friend of a friend, all of his Bitcoin passwords, you have to have the passwords. Written? Or saved in some location, $35 million in Bitcoin. What? Is that true? Was that worth like $40? I don't know the rate now. I know Trump has a Bitcoin now, doesn't he? No, the Bitcoin, not the Trump coin or whatever it's called. The Bitcoin, not whatever the weird names. Can you imagine that? This guy travels a lot, does import-export.

Yeah, but I feel like he has to have the password somewhere else. His backup was in his car. Okay, in his car. So, he's like, I'll keep one in my house, one in my car. The car was in the garage. Oh, shit! He was traveling when this happened. He does exotic import of spices and interesting... I still feel like if you have $35 million, you know, Bitcoin, you... Keep a third location. Or you get somebody like, listen, I will pay you half the money to go in there and go get that car before it burns.

It is something. Oh, I was going to say, the four sea animals, right? Oh, sorry. There is the octopus, the whale, the shark is like, he wants to make a deal. As long as he, all right, just for you, 20% off, and then he signs the contract. And then the dolphin is the guy who just wants to be friends. Like, as long as you're friends, he'll, he'll. Do business with you. So, he doesn't want to talk about the specs, or he just wants to be your buddy.

And my business partner was, they were like, oh, well, which ones do you think you are? And my business partner, Chris, looked at me, and he's like, well, you're the dolphin. So, I can't make a dolphin noise, maybe you can. I will not try. I can't make a dolphin noise, because when we were working together, after like an hour, I'm like.

I'm going to, like, get the scooter and kind of go around the office for a little while, or we had a little basketball, like, on the back of the door thing, and he would make the dolphin noise, because he's like, you just want to have fun. Can I tell you a vulgar story? Does it involve dolphins? It involves horses.

Am I allowed? Your friend's coming soon, right? I'll tell you the story. You can always cut it out, but it's so funny. It's going to be dark. It's going to be, it's pretty sexual. You've got to hold on. Okay, so years ago, at the dawn of the internet, I was living in L.A., right? I just, you know what I mean by the dawn of the internet. We were just searching, like there weren't a lot of websites or whatever. Things were just starting, and this video was circulating.

Apparently, I think in Washington State at the time, you could have intercourse with small animals, not large animals. I think one of them was illegal. That was the line that was drawn. One of the two. I don't know. Maybe it was the other way around. Below 1,000 pounds? I don't know. I guess it goes to the size of the member or if it's going to hurt the animal. So, this gay couple, one was shooting the other. The guy getting...

Penetrated by a horse. The horse just figures out, you know what I'm saying? The logistics seem curious. Well, and the guy died on video, because the guy got impaled. I mean, you've seen a horse's penis? I mean, that thing inside you will just destroy all your internal organs.

So, this is circulating, and I'm curious. I'm just saying. And so, I watch this video, and it's terrific. And you see the horse, the guy's kind of trying to angle the horse, and the horse is like, what's happening? And the horse is like, oh.

And then in one fell swoop, thrusts like massive. I mean, like. This thing was, like, insane in, and the guy just goes, and then collapsed. That is the video. It is almost like a snuff it. It is pretty dark. Yeah, yeah. So, I watched this. I do not know why. I could not help it, and now I have to share with others because I do not want to feel like a freak, right? So, I go to my agent. So, my commercial agent at the time.

It sounds like something you just want to bury. Well, it did not bury. It did not bury. I go to my agent. Now, my agent in L.A., this was my commercial agency, the voiceover department. It was on a different floor. They had all the offices on one end. And the assistants would sit, like, in the, whatever it's called, that middle section, you know what I mean? Like, the cubicles outside the offices. And so, I come in, and I go, guys, you got to see this video.

It's really messed up. It's really disturbing. I was like, in my early 20s. And they watch it, and they're like, oh, my God. Of course, you're waiting 30 minutes for it to buffer. Yes, exactly. And then, we're all like, oh, my God, oh, my God. And then, the head agent comes out. He goes, what are you all watching? And they tell him. And from that moment on, my nickname was Seabiscuit, and every time I'd come into the office, they'd call me Seabiscuit.

Would they make the horse noise? No, no horse noise. Sometimes they'd call me Mr. Ed. It fluctuated, but just to recollect, you were the dolphin, I was Seabiscuit. Well, I feel like the potential for names could have gotten a lot worse than Seabiscuit. It was so disturbing. I still have that image. That's the problem with imagery. It never leaves you.

It never leaves you. I mean, on a completely other note that is really dark and sad was, I remember when Daniel Pearl, the Jewish journalist, was beheaded by ISIS, and I saw that video, and I just felt like it was some sort of personal responsibility. I don't know why. I thought that it was a personal responsibility, and I still have that clear, clear image of every moment of that video, and that happened, what, 2000, I think it was. That was a while.

Yeah, and I literally remember it like it was yesterday. You've got to be careful. That's what I try to tell myself. I don't want him watching certain things, but I don't sit there and control... You know what I mean? He's a teenager now. Whatever he's not going to see at home, he's going to see with friends in school, but it's been tough trying to get him to... I told him I don't want him looking at certain stuff, and then I find out...

It's not fun. But I think that was one of the talks I was mentioning before that happened yesterday. Hell, but the internet. Hell, but it is not films. Seabiscuit. But it was like, talking about, we don't really... I don't know what the impact is yet of social media, and just the flurry of images. 100%. Like, how do we even know what the, like, I don't know how, what are the impacts for us, having grown up without the internet, and then getting it.

Yeah, I do feel like, though, because, wait, I'm just checking to see if Harry's here. No. Because. We are inundated with so much, I don't think we store. I mean, I think I remember that video, A, because it was traumatizing, but B, there wasn't a lot of video entering my brain at the time, and it was embedded very strongly. I think now, we see so much, I mean, how much do you scroll? It all kind of comes and goes. So, I think in that regard.

I hope so. But then there is the numbing you, right? Yeah, you get desensitized. Well, even for horrible stuff, which sucks. You know, like, we are dealing with the insanity of what is going on now, and obviously also in Israel, and the darkness of what people are going through. And everybody is just, like, it just, yeah, you do not become numb to it. I think I still take it on, but not to the horrors and trauma, you become numb to the insanity of stuff.

Like Elon Musk, and this shit that he says, and the Zieg Heil. And Kanye West with the freaking swastika t-shirts. And people aren't as horrified as they should be. And the guy still shows up at the Grammys. Like, I don't, some things don't compute. And I think people are just adjusting to more and more horrible stuff. And racism and anti-Semitism and, you know, rights abuses and all that. Well, I think, I mean, part of it is just the volume of things, right?

I was trying to explain to somebody. Do you remember, this has got to be late 80s, early 90s, baby Jessica? No. Who fell, there was that girl who fell into this very small pipe. I don't. And it was this rescue mission. It was like wall-to-wall coverage. She fell into a pipe? It was like... How do you fall into a pipe? She was like a two-year-old or something. So, someone dropped her into a pipe? Something broke, and the cover was not there, and she fell through.

Okay. And, you know, babies are very flexible, so she fell at just the right angle. And it was this whole rescue mission, because they had to dig down the side, and then cut over, or whatever. And I remember this. It was like the cover of Time Magazine. I don't... Sorry. It was like them carrying her out, and they saved her, or whatever. So, I'm juxtaposing that against, okay, we had the Hurricane Helene, right, coming through North Carolina, and I'm doing this mini-documentary series.

We sent a crew there to shoot, and then you get the L.A. fires, and it's like, oh, okay, now we're focused on that. I know, there's only so much bandwidth people have. And then there's Ukraine, and then there's Israel, and then there's this, and it's like, how do you... Yes, 100%. I mean... People get forgotten. Yeah. It's sad.

Okay, I think, should we... Wrap? Yeah, let's wrap. And I'm still wondering why we hear so much ambient, and is this on? What is picking up all the ambient sound to such an extent? That's a fair question. This thing? This one's picking up all the ambient? I thought it was very, like... Directional?

Really? Okay. Oh, there's Harry. All right. And that's a wrap. We're rolling. Well, Bishop Fernandez, thanks for joining us. It's great to be here. So, you don't... Look at that, they're cheering for you. I hope. It's incredible. Probably for somebody else.

So, you and I actually have a... A somewhat personal connection that I'm going to reveal to you now. So, you're rightfully nervous. So, you gave, you moderated a discussion last year at New York Encounter that involved, amongst other topics, human trafficking.

And the panelist there was Father Don Bosco Darcy. I attended that talk, got to meet Father Bosco, and three months later I was in India. With Fr. Bosco. So, whether you realize it or not, your moderation of that panel directly led to me going halfway across the world to help him with his project. You know, that is wonderful. He runs these Talatakum Uniti centers for girls who have been trafficked. He rescues them, educates them. Unfortunately, many of the houses they run were destroyed in a recent flood in Andhra Pradesh, but they are rebuilding.

He is here again at the New York Encounter. He also came to the Diocese of Columbus along with his bishop to do fundraising with our Mission Cooperative Appeal. So, he continues to be passionate about giving new life to these young girls. Yeah, and it shows the universal and global nature of our church, right? I mean, a diocese in Columbus, Ohio, supporting a diocese in Vijayawada, India, and Andhra Pradesh. But we are all connected, and all brothers in Christ, regardless of where we are.

Well, it is true. I mean, even our very humanity connects us. I was just on the panel with Dr. Holly Peterson, who is the Assistant Superintendent of Catholic Schools in the Diocese of Columbus, but also with Dr. David Steiner, who is a Jew, and we are interested in the educational endeavor, so we have our common humanity that binds us, and Pope Francis is constantly talking about human fraternity and the value of human fraternity, but most of the people here, we have our common faith in Christ.

The New York Encounter is beautiful because I get to see Friends. Friends whom I knew in Rome, friends whom I knew in Washington, friends who I met at La Tuile are all here, as well as, you know, local people and those from Ohio who made the journey, and we all get together for this incredible event. Thousands of us gather every year in February in New York, and it is a wonderful experience that reflects the universality of our faith, and yet also… I would say high culture, in the sense that the music that we have, the art that we share, all these things help us to rightly order our passion.

It is a chance to be away, to be away together, to share our faith in common, and to come together. The Nuncio quoted it this morning. Pope Benedict wrote it. Pope Francis quotes it constantly. Being a Christian is not a result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea. It is a result of an encounter with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. It is a result of an encounter with the Father, An event or a person who opens up new horizons and gives our life a decisive direction.

That event, that person for us is Jesus, but as the papal runcio, Cardinal Pierre, said this morning, we encounter Christ through his disciples, and that has been my experience these last two years at the New York Encounter. I constantly experience the presence.

Well, you know, sometimes terms become so familiar to you, you just, I always just go to the New York Encounter, New York Encounter, as if it's one word, and I'm in the conversations that I've been having over the past couple of days.

The purposefulness of that term encounter, right, that Giussani laid forth and what he wants to take place here, encountering each other, encountering, as you mentioned, high art, encountering community. It is almost like a big family reunion here, you know.

What we can encounter with each other has to take place in an incarnational faith that we have, right? This is not something that you can simply absorb online. Right, and so while some of the talks are broadcast online... It is important for us to be together. The church cannot go on virtually. What we have heard in a number of talks this weekend is how isolation is drifting in to our country, into our hearts. People are more and more isolated. The more and more dependent we become on technology.

We put screens in front of our faces rather than looking at another person and seeing the richness of the other person before us. One in three people, young adults, Only one in three will marry. Only one in four will ever have children. We can't replace the population of this planet. People are our greatest resource, and yet we suffer from isolation, and with it, a pandemic of loneliness. So, we talked about why have children, but we also talked about, this morning, Sherry Turkle and...

Dr. Putnam, Bob Putnam, they talked about how we live in a polarized and secularized society, and we're becoming more polarized, and we become isolated from each other, and we're losing sight of the common good and our shared humanity. We're losing our ability to empathize with one another and share in both our joys and our sorrows. Equally fascinating was the talk on Tolkien, and even the suffering. The suffering that is involved, and the wounds that we bear, yet Tolkien acknowledges the wound, yet he is also filled with hope, and I think that is how the Christian is, and even Christ himself, he bore our wounds in his very flesh, back to the incarnation, and he saved us in the flesh.

But he rose also in the flesh. And if we are, if we have communion with him, if we have friendship with him, then we know that what he has promised us will be fulfilled and is even being fulfilled. And that will be eternal happiness, eternal joy, the beginning of new life.

That's well said. And I think, you know, the encounter here, the New York encounter is an opportunity that to kind of. See that paradigm in a microcosm, if you will, right? The global church, all of the aspects of how we can grow in our faith spiritually, intellectually, culturally. Well, thank you for your service to the New York Encounter, being a now two-time participant. We hope it's many, many more times to come. You know, for many years, I heard people say, New York Encounter, New York Encounter, New York Encounter.

When I worked as a secretary at the Apostolic Lunciature for Cardinal Pierre, we would host the fundraiser for the New York Encounter. He would come, he would give speeches, he would participate in... I've been on panels each year, and he's still to speak this evening, but I had never been myself.

And so, to come here in the flesh, to be here is a great, great joy. I hope these first two are the first of many. Excellent. Well, thank you for taking your time, and all the best as you head back to Columbus. God bless you all. Thank you.