I Accidentally Got a Job Cleaning Porta Potties (with POV)

Just got to get it mixed up, you know, make sure all the flavors are there. This is me attempting to clean poop out of a fully loaded port-a-potty. Never in a million years did I expect to be doing this job, but an idea, two phone calls, and a personal challenge got me sucked into this stinky situation. Here's the story of how I got way more than I bargained for.

Everyone has their first dream job as a kid. My editor, Simons, was growing up to be a garbage man. We both remember rushing to our windows as kids to see the massive truck roll by and pick up the trash. But to be honest, I kind of take it for granted as an adult. Without garbage workers, everyday life would become a disaster very quickly. So, I wanted to know what life is like for a garbage man. Good thing I knew the perfect family.

Aaron and Andy Schweinsberg come from a generational garbage family in the Chicagoland area. Their dad started the company back in the day, and all the brothers picked up the family trade. So, I gave them a call. Not only would they let me in on their garbage operation, they recently started a port-a-potty company called Louie's Thrones. Over the course of two days, I was put to the test. Just waft it in? Yeah, get the aromas. How would I fare against the sights and smells?

What's the business model of human waste? And most importantly, do I have what it takes to become a certified port-a-potty technician? So, sorry, Simon, we won't be driving through the neighborhood picking up trash bins. We're going to be sucking out port-a-potties instead.

After meeting Andy bright and early, he sent us out on our first mission of the day, team up with his driver, Jose, for some of the day's garbage jobs. We got Tom up in the truck up there, about to go dump our first load. I'm following behind.

Should be a fun day. I had never actually been to a transfer station, but I was strictly warned to stay very close to the truck. It's dangerous. Guys get killed a lot in landfills. They get run over. The big loader, you know, that guy, he doesn't have 360 views. He's constantly turning, and for whatever reason, he'll turn one way, and you're standing right there.

Guys, they get killed. They get killed like that. First thing we do, we untarp it, then we raise it, and bring our box back to the end of the truck. So, when we open it up, it all falls out.

Yeah, I am sure this smells great in the summer. Well, this is nothing, because wait until like midday, and it all gets full. All good? That's it. Sweet. Okay, so what's the next move here? We're going to go do a compactor at a factory down here in Crystal Lake. Okay. What's the nastiest thing you've encountered? Probably just when it is raining and everything is all wet. As soon as you open the door, it is just going to splash back at you.

Have you gotten soaked before? No, I haven't. On Friday, when it was pouring, I was all wet, but even though we were still out there, we had to get these boxes done. Then we arrived at our next stop, an air filter factory. Jose squared it up, and the truck did the rest.

It is good. First trip to the dump, there is a lot of trash, and there is a lot going on in there. So, I think our first drop off was three tons, three and a half tons. So, he is just disconnecting it from that side, and then we are going to be picking it up. Yeah, this guy can drive, I will tell you that. It would have taken me at least eight tries to back into that property.

At this moment, and honestly for most of the day, I felt like a kid at a touch-a-truck event. These trucks were monsters. And it turns out that pure love of big machines really inspired Andy to get started in the first place. I like heavy equipment. I really like dozers and trucks and stuff, and those are a big attraction to me. For my kids, you know, it's a big tractor. Like, we can move all this dirt or, you know, this big, you know, roll-off truck and pick up this giant dumpster.

My oldest wants to work with me, and I'm like, well, prayerfully discern that. Maybe you're calling something else. You know, you could be a doctor or, you know, be a priest. Who knows? And just like that, we were headed back to the transfer station. And as Jose promised, it was really starting to fill up. Stay on this side. OK. Sometimes this door tends to just swing open. OK, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's a nice smell. As a newcomer to the trash game, I learned that cranes pick up the trash to transfer to another truck that would eventually be headed for the dump. That's it? Sweet. Days where it's super busy and the garbage is basically like halfway out here.

After finishing up with Jose, Simon had some interesting news for me. See, I had driven up to Chicago from Indianapolis in my car, and she's lived a good life and is known to be a bit temperamental. So, I chalked up Simon's first comment to, it's normal hijinks. Is your car supposed to shake sometimes?

Is it shaking? Yeah. Oh, like on the road? Yeah, like start driving. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I came up to a stoplight, and it started like... Oh, that's not good. Maybe I'm just used to that. And I saw a little check engine light flashing. Oh, is it flashing? Yeah, it went off, though. It was this moment I knew I was in some trouble. When we got back to the shop, Andy put me to work sanding and welding some old roll-off trash bins when Simon hinted to him that something was off with my car.

Well, there's that one, like, on the screen. Okay. I saw the car. You want the coil patch. Wait, what happened? A coil patch. What does that mean? It's like, uh... I figured Andy would scan my car and recommend a shop, so I got back to work.

While I was welding, Simon tapped me on the shoulder and told me to come look at my car. It turns out, Andy had run to a part shop, bought the part, and fully fixed my engine without saying a word to me. I mean, if you worked on cars all days, if you heard a certain noise, you're like, oh, yeah. I aspire to have that level of knowledge.

What a legend. This is the kind of guy we were dealing with. Basically, this sums up to do everything for the glory of God. Everything. Whether you're getting coffee, putting fuel on a truck, making a delivery, everything's got to be for the glory of God. So, I'm trying to integrate that into my life. There's some... Pride, which I don't like, because it sneaks up on you, like, I figured it out. I liked it. I did it. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no.

God does it. Just relax there, pal. So, that definitely gets in the way, and God checks me pretty quick, too. Because as soon as I think I'm doing a good job, something bad happens. So, I always got to make, ah, don't get too proud of yourself there, guy.

Pays to be in a shop when your car breaks down. The next morning, we moved over to Aaron's yard for a day working on some porta-potties. All right, Tom, how are you feeling? I feel good. I'm not kidding, actually.

Had to go to the bathroom immediately when I arrived here. Did you use a port-a-potty? No, no, I didn't use a port-a-potty, but my diet this morning, very blue collar, a white monster, and a protein bar. So that went right through me. I don't want to be graphic. Listen, we're doing port-a-potties. Well, things are about to get a lot more graphic than that.

For a dirty business, the company sure had a regal name. I figured there had to be a story behind that. My mom came up with it. It's, uh, King Louis from France, I believe, had the first bathrooms in his castle. The name just stuck. I think it is because King Louis has the first castle with bathrooms in it. First castle with bathrooms. Oh, dude, look at this. Come on now. Cheers. I knew it. Dude, as soon as I got this, I was like, I am having a blue-collar breakfast.

Blue-collar breakfast. A protein bar and a white monster. That is how to do it. Listen. You got to have either a zen or a marble red, too. Before we headed out to do the actual work, it struck me. I had never even considered how waste gets taken out of a port-a-potty. I mean, I have used plenty in my life, but it is really interesting to see what went into it mechanically and how the job gets done. In order to do their job, they need water.

The blue chemical, toilet paper, and cleaning supplies. We're still running salt water or brine for the wintertime, so it doesn't freeze. And you said the blue chemical. What is the blue chemical? So, the blue chemical is a mixture of...

Deodorizer, usually formaldehyde. We don't use formaldehyde deodorizer. We use another product. I don't have the name off the top of my head, but it's a non-toxic comparative formaldehyde, which is very toxic. Blue dye to cover the waste, and just like a scent additive, so we have scented cherry smell. This is all homemade. My dad made this, so it's nice.

It pumps the water right into the truck. So, I hooked it up to the valve right here. This is the bucket fill, they call it. Okay. It is hooked up to there, and then our sight glass is here.

Indicate how full we are, so. Okay. And then, typically, if the truck's loaded with waste, there's cyclists in the front of the tank. We're empty right now. So, but you would hook it up to the trailer here and the trailer pulls it from the truck. Pull the waste, okay. So, the blue chemical, where is that in this? This is just fresh water. So, the blue chemical is in a separate container. So, we have these jugs. Oh, okay. So, this is where you would suck the waste into?

This is a waste tank. Waste tank, okay. This is a We have 600 gallon waste and 300 gallon water. So, we have hand sanitizer, too. With every unit we deliver, we put hand sanitizer in them. We have these discs to put in the units to make them, this is like a floral scent to even mask the smell even more. That way, it's all about the customer experience, really. Now that we were all loaded up, it was time to go to our first job.

Aaron said this one, in particular, was always dirty. It was set up outside a construction site for the workers to use while they were working on the bathrooms. Now that's a sell. P.O.V. You need to get the metal glasses. I do not want this to fall off, although that would be electric. All right, so when we get to a stop, I always just take a peek at it, make sure to see what we got going on. Just waft it in? Yeah, get the aromas.

Yep, yep, yep. Okay, yep. That is poop, indeed. We're going to grab our grabber, and then just pick up all those toilet paper rolls that's off the ground and stuff, you know, try to get as much as possible. Do you want me to throw it in here? No, just throw it in that bucket that's on the truck there. Thank you.

We'll get the, we call it the wand. Yeah, talk to me. So, we'll get the truck running. Okay. So, the trick is to have the hose all the way out, or it might get clogged, and then we have a problem on our hand. Okay. And then this thing turns into a rocket. So, you want me to show you how to do it first? Oh, yeah. Tricks and techniques? Yes. So, what I do first is kind of like mix it up as like a big soup.

There you go. Okay, super. So, just kind of just punch it through. Very nice. Okay. Just got to get it mixed up, you know, make sure all the flavors are there. Oh, yeah, baby. And then just give that thing an open and just kind of just drop it in and out. You just push it forward like that. To have it suck? To have it suck. Okay. I'll let you at it. Thank you. Thank you. This is what I've been waiting for.

If the audio is not clear enough for you, yes, it was indeed disgusting. All right, how are we doing? Are we empty? I think we are empty. Oh, yeah, we are beautiful there. So, what I do before I take it out is just open up that valve, let the line clear, that way nothing is going to drip. Okay. And just pull it out, just like that, while it is still sucking. Okay. And then keep that note, keep it pointed upwards. Upwards?

Yep, that way nothing drips out. Okay. And then we will put it back into the truck. Okay. Keep the valve open? Yep, put the valve open. Okay. So, the end goes into that tube right there? Yeah. Just poke it in. There you go. That is it. That is the best way to suck out a port-a-potty. The only way, actually.

After getting my first taste of cleaning out port-a-potties, it hit me. Aaron has probably cleaned out thousands of port-a-potties, and he has some stories most people wouldn't believe. I found a whole plate. In a porta-potty with a rack of ribs already eaten in it, that was interesting. On a construction site, so you know those things are not well maintained. We did that Harry Potter event, a lot of wands and costumes in the porta-potty. There was a construction site where we did, the guy took off his whole, from the waist down, everything was in the porta-potty.

So, his pants, underwear, socks. That guy was struggling that day, I think. I felt bad for him. I would say decreased, almost. It depends on the day. It depends on the day. So, every port-a-potty gets about five gallons of water. It does not seem like a lot, but it does a lot. Yeah. So, I am going to have you take this chemical and pour probably about an ounce in there, so probably that much.

Perfect. And then we will take our bucket of water and just pour it on in. Okay. Next is the cleaning part. We get our microfiber towels, and this is just rubbing alcohol, and I just kind of all over the place, on the floor a little bit, just like so, and then we are just going to wipe it down by hand. The trick is to make sure it is dry afterwards.

I think we're out of toilet paper. Well, we got that on the truck. So, every unit gets three rolls of toilet paper. This unit doesn't have a hand sanitizer dispenser, so we always put bottles of hand sanitizer in them. We have a fresh bottle here, and then for our customer experience, we have some smelling discs, and that way it kind of masks the smell a lot more. It smells like a fresh flower in here now compared to before. Yes, okay. That's it.

All right. Wasn't so bad, right? Not bad at all. Dude, I could rip a bunch of these. I feel like you get in the zone, and you can crank these out, and it's kind of oddly satisfying. All right. Dude, that wasn't bad. Hi, after my first successful cleaning, we went on to challenge number two, delivering porta-potties. This is where we ran into some struggles.

So, the trick is you want to get it squared up with the truck. Okay, got it. You're going to push it up? Okay. And then pull it back a little bit. Tip it back, use your knee to push it on. Okay. Oh, yeah, there you go.

So, wait, wait, wait. So, you're flipping it with your knee? Yeah, you got to push it on with your knee. I need technique tips. Now, flip it up. I usually do this. I shimmy. You can shimmy it. Okay, how close is that? You're hitting that lower body. I know. I'm making fun of you. Someone's skipping leg day. All right, all right. Almost. A little bit more. Okay. There you go. Just push it all the way on. There you go.

Come on, now. I can't be... Come on. I've got to get the full job. You're going to let a young'un show you up like that? I mean, you're working out at 4 a.m., Doug. Yeah, I did legs today. I should be hurting.

So, I hook it to this hook. Okay. It should be the right length, and just make sure it's kind of level all the way around. Okay. All right, Tom. So, we're about to do, tell me what we're about to do. I'm about to do a port-a-potty drop-off. Just strapped it there. Got it in my legs for today. It's going to be good.

After getting humbled by this spunky 22-year-old, I was curious, why did he skip college and get into the port-a-potty game? The biggest thing is not wasting four years. That's something that I know I wouldn't use. Four years is a long time, and in those four years, I was able to buy a house, buy a pickup truck, and expand the business here. So, there's a lot of opportunity. People don't want to, you know. They don't want to think about what happens in a port-a-potty.

They just, you know, they use them at a concert, and like, oh, I feel bad for that guy, and, you know, go about their day. But, retrospect, they can't find a job, really. If, say, they went to college for business, well, there's a million other people that just went to college for business. Here, it's, you know, we're always looking for people that are willing to take up the call, I guess. And for one day, at least, I'm taking up the call.

Let us drop off some porta-potties. All right, good technique on that one. Just kind of just let it slide. Here you go. Now, this is where your core gets into action here. Just give it a quick shimmy like this. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, it is nice on the driver. Want to get in the back and pull them on? Drop it in our magical blue chemical so it does not smell. Dessert. All right. I will do this one. So, we have to make sure these things are dry.

With job number two out of the way, it was time for my final examination. I would be changing out the toilets at a ritzy, private airport bathroom. Billionaire cheeks could be on these porta-potties. I had no room for error.

It was showtime. How's it going? You got this? Yeah, yeah, I got you. You can handle it? Yeah, yeah, I got you. I'll get the truck started. Okay. I want to see how you do it. You've got the alcohol.

That's good. Yep. Happy with your work? I think so. All right. After spending 48 hours in some of the dirtiest jobs in America, the nature of the job actually didn't stick out to me as much as the people did. Aaron and Andy didn't seem cynical or beaten down by constantly dealing with the waste and afterthought of most people. They actually seemed energized by it, and their energy seemed to stem from one person. 100% my dad. He can outwork all of us.

He's a madman. My dad's always been a very hands-on person, and he definitely brought that down to us. Whether it's working on something, figure something out, stuff around the house, the work doesn't get done just by looking at it. You have to do it yourself. Being part of something special, I think, was a driving factor. My dad, I could watch what he was doing, and he was trying stuff that, whoa, this is crazy, this is awesome, and I wanted to be a part of that.

We've always grown up with strong family roots. Family's always got your back, so coming back to a family business from a corporation was very eye-opening, how much I took it for granted, at least. And this encouragement and support from their family has allowed them to view what some people see as nasty and unseemly as an opportunity, an opportunity to provide a good service and to make a clean living with dirty hands. I absolutely embrace the dirty jobs aspect. It's a job nobody wants to do, so I'll do it.

I'll do anything. If it's disgusting, chances are I'll do it. People will pay you to vacuum their living room. They'll pay you money to vacuum your living room. You know what I'm saying? It's like, what else will they pay me for? You go online, people are saying, oh, America's Dream is over, we're just going to be poor forever. I don't think so. I just like learning new things, too. I mean, whether it's this, or doing garbage, or whatever it is, I'll do it.

After a mandatory stop at Giordano's for some deep dish pizza, we left Chicago with full stomachs, new blue-collar friends, and a greater appreciation for the waste workers all across America that do the dirty work that we take for granted.